Puerto Ricans have a deep and beautiful culture, shaped by a mix of Taíno, African, and Spanish influences. But for many of us who grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods in the U.S., that connection to our roots can feel distant, even lost. Why does this happen? Is it a conscious choice, or are there larger forces at play that push us away from our culture? Honestly, it feels like a mix of both.
The Pressures of Assimilation
Assimilation isn’t just something that happens—it’s something that’s often forced on people, whether they realize it or not. In the U.S., there’s this unspoken (and sometimes very spoken) rule that success is tied to speaking perfect English and fitting into the dominant culture. Puerto Ricans, despite being U.S. citizens, often face discrimination and stereotypes that make it feel like the only way to move forward is to blend in.
Growing up in a mostly white community, I saw this firsthand. Spanish wasn’t spoken in my house (maybe a few simple words or references used; but not full sentences or conversations), and the little I did hear from relatives was never reinforced. It wasn’t just about language, though—it was about the subtle ways Puerto Rican culture was downplayed or ignored. If you didn’t have a strong community to keep traditions alive, it was easy for them to fade into the background.
The Stigma of Being Puerto Rican
There’s also a deep history of racism and economic struggle that has shaped how Puerto Ricans are perceived in the U.S. For generations, Spanish speakers have been mocked, judged, or outright attacked for using their native language. It’s no surprise that some Puerto Ricans decided that the best way to protect themselves—and their kids—was to speak only English. They didn’t want their children to face the same discrimination they did.
And then there’s the issue of representation. For a long time, mainstream media portrayed European features and traditions as the standard of beauty and success. Puerto Rican culture, with its diverse mix of influences, wasn’t always seen as something to be proud of. It’s painful to think that some people felt they had to downplay their heritage just to be accepted, but that was (and still is) a reality for many.
Losing Language, Losing Culture
Language is one of the strongest connections to culture, and yet it’s often the first thing to go. When parents don’t teach their kids Spanish, it creates a ripple effect. By the third generation, many Puerto Rican families in the U.S. have completely lost the language.
That’s exactly what happened to me. My family didn’t pass Spanish down, and as a result, my ability to speak and understand it is extremely limited. That language barrier made it harder to connect with my heritage in other ways, too. There were no big family gatherings filled with Spanish conversations (unless you went to the Puerto Rican Club).
Reclaiming What Was Lost
The good news is, it’s not too late. A lot of Puerto Ricans, myself included, are actively working to reconnect with our roots. Social media and cultural movements have made it easier than ever to learn about our history, traditions, and language. More people are proudly embracing their Puerto Rican identity, making up for lost time by cooking traditional dishes, listening to the music of our ancestors, and making a real effort to learn Spanish.
There’s also a growing awareness of how colonization and systemic racism have played a role in this loss of identity. Understanding this history is empowering—it allows us to see that losing our culture wasn’t our fault, but reclaiming it is within our power.
Moving Forward
Losing language and culture is a complicated and deeply personal experience. Some Puerto Ricans still feel the need to assimilate to survive, while others are fighting hard to bring their heritage back into their lives. No matter where someone falls on that spectrum, the key is understanding the bigger picture. Once we recognize the pressures that caused this loss, we can work toward breaking the cycle and making sure future generations don’t have to go through the same struggle.
For me, that means making a conscious effort to learn more, to embrace what I wasn’t given, and to pass it forward in any way I can. Because at the end of the day, being Puerto Rican isn’t just about where you come from—it’s about holding onto and celebrating who you truly are.
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